I wasn't going to share my birth story with Baby S because it was a planned c-section and everything was pretty basic. But I don't want to ever forget the overwhelming joy and love I felt that day, and I think every birth story is important, no matter how it went! So here it is! (For more pictures and when I announced here is the link)
I didn't sleep much the night before knowing that my baby would be in my arms very soon. I think I finally gave up on sleeping around 5:30am and I got up to shower. Little A was sleeping in her own bed. About half the time she ends up in our bed at some point at night but this night she slept the whole night in her room. I debated on waking her up, wondering if it would be better to let her sleep or to make sure she saw me before I headed to the hospital. She had been very nervous about the whole thing. We don't have a good track record for my hospital stays. After having 3 surgeries and another unexpected hospital stay a year before, I think she was a little traumatized, especially because I wasn't able to see her for a few days while I was in the ICU. I told her this time would be much different because I was going to be bring her little sister into the world and we had faith that all would go as planned. On a side note, she recently mentioned that she enjoyed this time when I was in the hospital. She said it was "fun" and made her "happy" because she got to see her sister every day when she visited. Anyway, I took my shower, had T move her into our bed and set up the monitor so my parents would hear her downstairs. My parents arrived and I told them our routine with Little A and showed them what to do. I sat around for a little just rubbing my belly, listened to some calming music, wrote a nice note to Little A and finally went upstairs to give Little A a kiss goodbye. She woke up right as I got in the room. I told her I was leaving and she said she wanted to come downstairs. So I made her breakfast and read her the note I left her. I stalled for a little but finally T got me out the door. My nerves were really setting in now.
The trip to the hospital was about 20 minutes. I enjoyed every last kick I felt knowing I wouldn't feel her inside of me again.
Once we got to the hospital, I checked in and sat in the waiting room and filled out paperwork until they brought me to get changed. I remember being so nervous that I just wanted to walk around and get my energy out. I changed into a hospital gown and T changed into scrubs. I laid in the bed answering the millions of questions that the nurses asked. We were in there for a good hour and a half.. Watching The Today Show. Really felt like years! I broke into tears a few times from the nerves. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest! Baby S was moving so much! I think she knew what was coming. After all, I told her many times that I would be meeting her today.
My csection was scheduled for 10am and we had to be there at 8am so time was going really slow! Finally at around 9:55 they came in to bring me to the operating room. T walked me up and stayed back in the hall so they could put my epidural in. Now the tears started. I felt alone but the nurses and anesthesiologist made me feel so comfortable. I mentioned a few times about keeping my placenta and they were all intrigued. They had experienced mom's keeping it before so it wasn't shocking. They just asked what I would do with it and they were very non judgmental. I'll admit, I was worried about that. I told them many times that I didn't want to feel anything. They made me very confident that I wouldn't. When they put the epidural in my spine, I started crying again. Man does that hurt! The doctor that would be assisting my doctor was having her baby via csection in 4 weeks! I have no idea how she watches and helps during the whole procedure and then has it done to herself! But she told me that she gets nervous too and that I was in good hands.
The next thing I know, T was back in the room, sitting next to me and the procedure had begun. I didn't even know they were doing it until I heard the doctor tell T to get ready with the camera because the baby was coming out! They commented on being able to see all her hair and next thing I knew I heard her crying! She came out at 10:53am. They held her up for me to see and all of a sudden all my nerves went away. I instantly felt in love. Same feeling I had with Little A. True love at first sight! T and I both said at the same time "she's so tiny!" At that point I didn't care what they did to me, I was so numb from the love I felt that I couldn't stop grinning. I couldn't feel a thing, just 100% pure love. They placed her in my arms and I just looked at her and touched her soft skin while they closed me up. Toward the end they asked to take her to the nursery to weigh her and clean her, T went along and helped with the process. A nurse came back in and told me everything was great and she weighed 6 lbs 3 oz and was 18 inches long.
Baby S' teeny, tiny foot in recovery
The next 45 minutes felt like another lifetime. But finally, I was in recovery getting videos on my phone from T in the nursery. They brought her in to me and I fed her right away. My parents had arrived in the waiting room with Little A. Lucky for them, Little A had another little girl to play with. They wouldn't allow her in the recovery area. T and I bonded with Baby S for awhile and then my parents came in. My sister in law had her baby girl just two days before us so she was leaving the hospital as we were waiting for a room (and I actually ended up getting her room). They stopped in and met Baby S on their way out.
For the next few hours, I waited for my room while holding and feeding Baby S. She was so soft and cuddly. She would open her eyes every so often and just gaze at me. I felt she was an old soul right away. I didn't feel much pain but I was pretty thirsty. They allowed me to have ice chips which made me throw up a few times. But none of that mattered because I had my baby in my arms.
When I finally got to my room, Little A came in to meet her sister. Again, this was love at first sight. She could stop kissing her and looking at her. She was already a great big sister.
About 6AM, still awake, holding my new angel. We did skin on skin as well, but this was the only decent picture, if you get my drift. :)
That night I didn't sleep at all. They had told me I had the option to have her sleep in the nursery and they would bring her in for feedings. Since I had a csection, I wouldn't be able to move to lift her. But I said I wanted her with me, so she slept on my chest the whole night and I just stared at her the entire time.
So that was my birth story with Baby S. Everything went to slow, yet so fast! I wish I could do it all over again. The love and joy I felt that day was like nothing I've felt before (besides when Little A was born). I wish I could bottle that feeling up and just smell it every so often. But every day I fall in love all over again when I see my girls. They are the biggest blessing to me and I am so lucky to have them. The year before I was experiencing so many hard emotions and tough times on my journey to j-pouch and now I have my reward. Everything was worth it to be in the place I am now. Happy, healthy and in love.